so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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