like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
