ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
