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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.

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• (754): View more from Florida

  He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?

  (954): View more from Florida

  In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.

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• (559): View more from California

  she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...

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• (214): View more from Texas

  This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.

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• (510): View more from California

  Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey

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• (510): View more from California

  On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy

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