i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
being pregnant is like rehab
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
