how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
