i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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