So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
