i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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