i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
