he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
