Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
