What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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