boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
