everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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