i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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