she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
