FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
