life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
