failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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