Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
