he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
