bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
