You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
