they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You ruined the universe
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
