i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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