But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
