I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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