and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
