My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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