He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
