end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
