i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
