hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
