I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
