I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
