lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Randomize
