I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
