Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
