I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
