he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
