I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
And then he peed in my hair
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