I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
