My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This girl is more easily done than said...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
