Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
