all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
