I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
