she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
