My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
