God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
